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Maria Valtorta (Itália, ano 1897-1961) - Obra: "O Evangelho como me foi revelado" (1944-1950) [Maria Valtorta comments:] The road to Saphet leaves the plain of Korazim and climbs a remarkable mountain range thickly covered with trees. A stream flows down the mountains towards the lake of Tiberias.
The pilgrims are waiting at a bridge for those who were sent to Merom. And they do not have to wait long.
The others in fact walking fast arrive punctually at the meeting and meet the Master and their companions with great joy and inform them of their journey, which was blessed also with some miracles, worked in turn by «all the apostles». But Judas of Kerioth rectifies: «With the exception of me, as I was not able to do anything.» His mortification in admitting it is painful.
[James of Zebedee says:] «We told you that it was due to the fact that we were dealing with a great sinner» replies James of Zebedee. And he explains. «You know, Master? It was Jacob and he was very ill. That is why he invokes You, because he is afraid of death and of God’s Judgment. But he is more avaricious than ever, now that he foresees a real disaster for his crops, which have been completely ruined by frost. He lost all his seedcorn and he cannot sow any more because he is ill and his maid-servant is not fit to plough the field, because she is worn out by fatigue and starvation, as he economizes also on flour for bread, seized as he is with fear that he may be left without any food one day. We ploughed a large extension of ground for him and perhaps we sinned, because we worked all day on Friday, also after sunset until it was dark, and even then with torches and bonfires. Philip, John and Andrew know how to do it, so do I. We worked hard…
Simon, Matthew and Bartholomew followed us removing the corn that had come up and had been ruined, and Judas went in Your name to ask Judas and Anne for a little seed, promising that we would call on them today. He got it and it was chosen seed. So we said: "We will sow it tomorrow". That is why we are a little late because we started at the beginning of sunset. May the Eternal Father forgive us considering the reason why we sinned. Judas, in the meantime, remained near Jacob’s bed to convert him. He can speak better than we can. At least that is what Bartholomew and the Zealot said spontaneously. But Jacob turned a deaf ear to all his arguments.
He wanted to be cured, because his disease costs him money and he insulted the servant calling her a sluggard. Since he said: "I will be converted if I recover", Judas imposed his hands on him to calm him down. But Jacob remained as ill as before. Judas was discouraged and told us. We tried before going to bed. But we did not obtain a miracle. Now Judas maintains that it is because he has lost Your favour, as he displeased You and is now down-hearted. But we say that it is because we had in front of us an obstinate sinner, who pretends to get everything he wants and lays down terms and gives orders to God. Who is right?»
[Jesus says:] «You seven. You have spoken the truth. [...] Jesus also looks at him… and then He asks: «Judas, to whom am I speaking?»
[Judas Iscariot says:] «To me, Master.
It is because of You that I no longer have power. You took it away from me to increase it in John, Simon, James, in everybody, except me. You do not love me, that’s what it is! And I will end up by not loving You and by cursing the hour when I did love You and I ruined myself in the eyes of the world for a cowardly king, who is overwhelmed even by the populace. I was not expecting this from You!»
[Jesus says:] «Neither I from you. But I have never deceived you. And I have never forced you. So why do you remain with Me?»
[Judas says:] «Because I love You. I cannot part from You.
You attract me and You disgust me. I desire You as much as I desire air to breathe and… You frighten me. Ah! I am cursed! I am damned! Why do you not drive the demon out of me, since You can?»
[Maria Valtorta comments:] Judas’ face is livid and upset, he looks like a madman full of hatred and fear… He reminds me, although faintly, of the satanic mask of Judas on Good Friday.
And Jesus’ face reminds me of the scourged Nazarene, Who sitting on an upturned tub in the courtyard of the Praetorium looks at His sneerers with all His loving pity. He says, and a sob already appears to be in His voice: «Because there is no repentance in you, but only hatred against God, as if He were guilty of your sin.»
Judas utters a horrible curse between his teeth…
[The disciples say:] «Master, we have found lodgings. There is room for five in one place, for three in another, for two in a third place and then two places can accommodate one each. We could not find anything better» say the disciples.
[Jesus says] «All right. I will go with Judas of Kerioth» says Jesus.
[Judas says:] «No. I prefer to be alone. I am upset. You would not be able to rest…»
[Jesus says] «As you wish… I will go with Bartholomew. You can do as you like. In the meantime let us go where there is more room, so that we may all have supper together.»

 

 
Vide também Vida e Obra de Maria Valtorta
Nota sobre a fonte: Maria Valtorta foi uma mística católica italiana. Durante sua vida, ela foi agraciada com revelações de Jesus Cristo sobre o Evangelho, e também de Nossa Senhora, do Espírito Santo e de vários santos e anjos.